It Didn’t Matter If I Felt Awkward

Amy M, (alumna 2018-2020)

“Christ in the City taught me the courage to encounter another human being. I had often desired to meet people, to help and to affirm them, but I was so afraid. Years of self-doubt and practiced timidity seemed insurmountable until I met the gaze of love in the community around me. I am indebted to the Christ in the City staff, formators, and fellow missionaries who approached me in conversations motivated solely by love. They willingly stood outside my barriers until I was ready to (slowly) let them in. Not only that, but when they saw the person I had hidden inside the barriers (me!), they were willing to stay.

When it came time to meet the people I would quickly come to call my “best friends (on the streets),” I learned it didn’t matter if I felt awkward or like a “missionary imposter” sometimes. What mattered was that I was loved. So was the person in front me. While I wasn’t always perfect about communicating that love, I slowly learned that was okay too. The important part was to keep showing up.

I’ll be unpacking my two years at Christ in the City for the rest of my life. God gave me so much through the people I lived with and encountered. Yet when it comes down to it, it was simply about courageous love – His, others, and mine.”